Kat

So, after three years and three interviews, I finally managed to get The Job. It's funny, the last year or so I've had several interviews at other places, but no offers. And now I've had two job offers in the same week. I was planning to take both jobs if I could, because downside, (you knew there was one, this is me after all) The Job can't promise me I'll be full time. Which, hey, at least they're being up front about it. But Alternate Job said they would not work around another schedule. They had good benefits, but the pay was meh. It's a nursing home with like fifty residents, soooo not the most fun or challenging job. Although, that interviewer asked the best questions. Ten years in the restaurant biz, and however many interviews I've had, this was literally THE FIRST TIME someone's quizzed me on weights and measures. Which, yeah, fuck naming the mother sauces, because knowing the difference between bechamel and veloute is pretty useless if you don't know how many cups are in a quart. And I have worked with/trained people like that (and that right there is one reason why I believe culinary school is the most useless thing ever).

I decided to keep Job A in the meantime. Do I still hate that place? Idk, maybe marginally less than I used to? But Job B is a wing joint. I am glad that I had it because I needed the money, but goooood do I hate that it's part of my resume now. /food snob Because I am a terrible, awful person, it was quite gratifying when one of the managers just about begged me to stay. But when I told him where I was going, he was like, yeah, we really can't compete with that. Sorry dude.

ALSO OZ IS SICK :( The vet said he may need surgery depending on what the test results show :((( It may be crystals in his urine or kidney stones, and there is a slim possibility that the problem may be fixed by putting him on a special diet.

And, my knees really hurt again. And, now there is random ankle pain?! STANDING ON CONCRETE FLOORS FOR HOURS ON END IN $20 SHOES HAHAHA

officially no longer a 20 something. Kind of weird but kind of not.

What's really weird is going from job 1, which I have been at for three years and I therefore know everything to do with this restaurant, to job 2, where I'm a noob. Weird headspace, let me tell you. Benefits to job 2: so far, the managers all seem okay. They all seem to appreciate me which should not be a novelty but nevertheless is. But let me be real, this is a place that serves hot wings and burgers. There is not even a saute station. This is not what I went to culinary school to do. But, for now, this is what I'm having to do to get ahead.

Job 1, on the other hand, the managers are mostly assholes, but when people find out that's where I work, they are delighted. It's a place I'm honestly proud to say I work at. Why can't they just pay me more* :(

So anyway, I went and applied for The Job again. This is what, the third time this year? and looking back, November/December was when I was called in for interviews. So. Maybe this is the year it happens. Fingers crossed.

*I know why, because they are stupid and incompetent and spend money on stupid shit we don't need. They just bought an $800 Kitchenaide mixer. for the sole purpose of making compound butter. I said to the kitchen manager, why did you buy that expensive mixer. The kitchen manager said they didn't want to buy the $200 one because it would probably break. I was like, but, you don't need to invest any money in this at all. It's. Just. Butter. If you really want it to be whipped then go to Walmart and buy a hand mixer for $6. He said that the food and beverage director wants to do pound cake at some point. Okay. That still doesn't require you to spend $800 or $200 or any dollars at all. Do you know how cheap it is to make pound cake? Do you realize how long it would probably take to get a return on that investment? And that's if they end up putting pound cake on the menu. Jesus, these stupid assholes.

Pretty sure I didn't get the job again. I've put off calling b/c I kept hoping that maybe it was taking so long to hear back because of the holidays. But. Yeah. Self delusion and hope can only go so far before you just have to woman up and admit you just got screwed again. I was so fucking sure this time, thanks for getting my hopes up of ever attaining something resembling financial stability while still working in a field I love, only to crush them once again.

I really think I'm starting to hate this place.

Kay so that place never called me about an interview. When I first applied the owner was like 'I will call you after Labor Day' and the Wednesday after I hadn't heard back, so I walked down there after work and spoke to the owner again and gave him a copy of my resume. He said he would call me the next week. HE THEN CALLED GSA FOR A REFERENCE EVEN THOUGH I CHECKED "DO NOT CALL THIS EMPLOYER" ON MY APP. I know this because GSA asked me where I had applied to and what my plans were. DUDE WHAT THE FUCK. And the kitchen manager just straight up asked me when my last day was. GSA did say he gave a favorable reference, but still, what the fuck. I had to lie (although it ended up being truth after I met the guy replacing GSA) and say I was only looking for a second job and wasn't planning on quitting. NuBoss is awesomely competent, I had forgotten what it was like to work for someone I actually respected. If I get a significant raise sometime soon, I wouldn't consider leaving unless I was offered a really super awesome job.

So, I put in two apps today, one at some new chain that just opened up, and the other at the job I have been trying to get for a whole damn year now. IF I ACTUALLY GET THAT JOB NOW THAT I HAVE GONE GRAIN FREE I WILL LOL FOREVER AT THE IRONY.

I went on the job interview last Thursday; I feel like I made a very good impression, both in terms of my work experience and ability to multitask/function in complete chaos. Also I made it clear that I really, really want to work there--did I mention I've put in three applications this year? And that was before I found out the pay is amazing, plus quarterly bonuses. That's quarterly. Bonuses.

I have never walked out of a job interview feeling that I actually made a good impression--I hope that doesn't mean I actually sucked horribly? Seeing as how I manage to keep myself employed regardless. IDK. I was pretty nervous at first, but once the process got going I felt really comfortable with her. What she said pretty much confirmed my feeling that this would be an excellent place to work; and I know to take all that with a grain of salt, but still, I just--

--I care about what I do. I like foodservice, goddammit. Where I'm working right now, I feel like no one gives a fuck except me, and I'm tired. I'm tired of being taken for granted; I'm tired of no accountability; I'm tired of knowing more than the fucking managers; I'm tired of being told I'm going to be a supervisor, and being given supervisor's responsibilities, and not only not getting paid more, but getting my hours slashed as well. I haven't even worked here a full year and I'm ready to walk. I am so fed up with this place. And it's not that I expect constant praise or that I can't handle criticism, I just want to work in an environment where everyone else cares too.

Anyway, she said that she had other candidates to interview, and that she would let me know her decision within a week. That's sort of worrying me a bit; I have some experience at baking, but not much, and it can only be considered "recent" if you squint. I'm hoping that the fact that this isn't just something I do for a paycheck is what will give me an edge over the others.

We have a new assistant manager. He is the best manager ever! I never knew what it was like to have a boss who was both competent and not an asshole, huh.

I am in the middle of working out our par levels with the GM, omg why has this not already been done. Also, the owner has been doing his bi-yearly menu overhaul. He is not taking anything off the menu, but is adding to it. What :/ Our menu is already unwieldy as it is, imo it should be split up into a lunch and dinner menu, at least. Hell, if it's not broke, don't fix it. I'm applying what I'm learning about the business side of restauranteuring and looking at this gigantic new menu and realizing this is the point when food costs get out of hand.

And here's the kicker: today he was working out a recipe for dog biscuits. I shit you not. He wants to sell dog biscuits. Not that there aren't plenty of people who walk their dogs around here. But we already have so much to do! And he wants us to start canning this pear chutney he's concocted for a new pork dish. Because did I ever mention that when they did the renovations this spring, they added a retail store? We sell t-shirts, beer mugs, jugs. I guess they'll sell the dog biscuits from there, too? I D E K. It's not that I think these are bad ideas. I think the dog biscuit idea is pretty brilliant, actually, but for the love of baby jesus we cannot do all this with our current workforce. If business is really as excellent as they say then I am sure we can afford to hire at least one more cook, I am just saying.

I actually managed to get out of work today half an hour ahead of schedule (thankfully this makes up for me staying ten minutes past schedule on Tues and twenty minutes Wed)

The general manager is granting me more autonomy; not having to deal with him so much directly anymore, and knowing how much my resume could use the management experience, makes me think I can probably stick it out. Also liking most of the rest of the people I work with.

The power cord for my ancient laptop is dead. :((( I don't know if I should go ahead and spring for a new power cord or hold off until I can actually afford a new laptop in the fall (been eyeing the Acer Chromebook, omg waaaant and it is actually affordable, like, not all that much more than I payed for that refurbished laptop last summer). I can't write for any length longhand on account of my hand not being able to grip the pencil after a while; typing does get tedius if I spend too long at it, but not as bad as anything that requires me to grip something (such as a knife, lol my career choice).

Right now I am just trying to hang on until my lease runs out Aug 1st. Not looking forward to a shared housing situation again, but on the other hand, having disposable income is nice. The most depressing thing right now is despite how much I am working and the halfway decent paychecks I am getting, I'm just barely breaking even. Two more months. I can hang on for two more months. Fuck, I just realized my cats are due for their shots in June. ugh money ugh.

This is a good omfg, jsyk.

I just became a trainer at work. THIS IS OFFICIAL, SERIOUS BUSINESS. I had to go to a "Train the Trainers" class today--and found out that for every person I train who makes it through the 90 day training/probationary period, I get a $100 bonus. AND I AM ONLY HALFWAY THROUGH MY OWN TRAINING/PROBATIONARY PERIOD. GUYS, THIS IS AWESOME. People who have been working here for four-plus years haven't been made trainers.

I was completely blindsided by this, because when I got my schedule on Monday night, it had my usual time, then for this afternoon after my shift was over it said "Training: location" added on, and I was kinda confused because I thought I had finished all the training classes I was supposed to take. I was off Tuesday so I didn't get a chance to ask about it then, but this morning the KM told me he wanted me to be a trainer, and that was what the class was about. I was all, okay, cool. Then (this is the absolute best part) right before I was finished with my shift and getting ready to go to the place the class was being held, he told me to think of something to make for the demonstration for the ROLE PLAY that was going to occur during the training. MEEP. I had to train one of the other class members on how to make one of our dishes, and then let them train me on something else (remember that I work for a huge ass management company that runs multiple restaurants and hotels in the area, so it wasn't just people from the restaurant I work in). I decided to just grab the stuff to make one of our deserts, a fancified banana pudding, because the custard and whipped cream was already made, and I would just have to assemble it (and that ended up being the most complicated demonstration, lol).

But you know what? I did okay. I was shaking a little bit but I managed to speak clearly and it wasn't even all that bad. I really, really don't know why the hell the KM is in my corner, but thank fuck he is, because if he wasn't I probably wouldn't have lasted even this long. Even the GM is starting to act kind of friendly? Most of the time I am pretty good at controlling visible signs of my anxiety, but the week before last, I was very obviously struggling to keep my shit together. But I kept my shit together and I think that maybe impressed them? That and the fact I actually know how to do my job, stupid mistake aside (and I immediately owned up to my mistake instead of trying to throw someone else under the bus). And also thank fuck the KM has also figured out that in this type of situation it's best to just throw me in the river and see if I swim, because if I had known about this a week or even a few days ago, I probably would have had another panic attack, because public speaking, even in front of just ten or twelve people, is huge HELL NO. Surprise!Public Speaking sucks, but not as bad as when I have time to let the dread build up to full force, you know?

Dare I think that this might just be the place where I break into management?

On Saturday, the kitchen manager and one of my coworkers were in the kitchen talking, and the KM said he thought I was coming along nicely, and my coworker said she liked having me here. Then one of the pizza guys (the restaurant has a separate little area of the dining room with a wood-burning brick pizza oven) said I made the best pizza dough.

And Sunday the assistant kitchen manager was showing another new hire around, and when she introduced us she said I was a blessing. ;_________; I REALLY LIKE THIS JOB YOU GUYS. I wish it paid more, but other than that it's miles better than where I used to work. And I no longer feel any anxiety about coming to work, which it was pretty bad in the beginning. But I'm finally getting familiar with the place and the people, got several of the recipes memorized already. Also I have identified the batshit insane coworker, but it looks like he may be fired soon? The KM said he was going to have make a decision soon.

So, that's life at the moment.

OH MY FUCKING GOD, MY BOSS IS NOW OFFICIALLY THE MOST PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE PERSON IN THE WORLD, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.

She stuck a note on my timecard that said (paraphrasing) "We're too slow for you to be clocking in this early".

ASDFASDHFJG, If you would bring your ass in to work at 4 AM like you're supposed to, I wouldn't have to come in at 3 to do all these breakfasts we have going out at 7:30 and 8:00. And why the fuck can't you actually say this to my face when you know I am still here? I am a passagg bitch myself, but I'm not the GENERAL FUCKING MANAGER. GROW A GODDAMN SPINE FOR FUCKS SAKE.

And then, oh lol, literally just now, she called me and told me she just took an add-on for Monday morning, for 150 people, and they're getting 75 sausage biscuits and 75 ham biscuits, and 25 dozen mini muffins. And she said I need to be in early. It's okay for her to tell me how much time I need to do my work, but I am incapable of making such a decision. Motherfucker.

Background:

Normally in January, business slows down for us quite a bit. And it has been really slow, but most of our "big" jobs (25--30 people) have been breakfasts, which fall under my purview, so I haven't felt the squeeze quite as bad as some of my coworkers.

Now, ordinarily, my boss would be at work at 4 AM to let me in, and she would do her paperwork and help me out as needed. But since she gave me a key, she's been coming in at 6 (well, she's supposed to come in at 6, it can be anytime between 6 and 7, when we open the deli for breakfast). So, whatever, I don't care, I like being by myself for part of the morning. And having my own key essentially means I can set my own hours, which is great, because when my boss was letting me in, it was usually at 4:05--4:10, and those ten minutes can really put me behind if we have catering stuff going out on top of the stuff I have to do to prep the deli for breakfast.

So, yeah, because I actually got decent hours this week (36) that's a problem. This place is run so assbackwards, oh my god. We had a staff meeting a couple of months ago with all the owners and managers, and the owners all said that labor was their biggest expense.

WELL FUCKING STOP HIRING PEOPLE FUCKING IDIOTS. How does it make sense to have 6 employees, 7 counting the assistant manager, working in the deli when it would only take 4 people to run the front counter, plus the assistant manager to work the register? There is one other person who works in the kitchen who is trained to work in the deli, and she can be pulled in when it gets busy, plus the general manager. They keep hiring people from one of the local drug rehab programs, which is noble and all, but we don't need the extra labor.

Meanwhile I am certain that food costs have to be the second biggest place the company is hemorrhaging money from, with all the waste I see everyday. The GM finally decided to cut down on the amount of biscuits and muffins I put out in the deli, because almost every day for the year I have been doing the baking, we've had half of it leftover; the biscuits get thrown out, and the muffins are sold for half price the next morning, or given out as free samples, and usually most of a pot of grits gets thrown out, as well. Not to mention all the shit that the company gives away as promo, or donates. They didn't say a word about that, oh no, it's kiss the customers' ass, and don't talk on your cell phone at work, and abide by the dress code. Huh?

I took the initiative and cut down the amount of cookies I make too, and I just flat out stopped doing the mini cinnamon rolls and danishes, because we weren't selling those even when we were busy (because they were so fucking expensive! $1.75 for some little danish you can eat in three bites, or two big bites? When a brownie or lemon bar is bigger and only cost $1.25?)

And now they're raising the costs of drinks and soup. Instead of cutting back on waste, and letting go of the extraneous employees (harsh, I know, but Crazy Bitch and Xanax are two none of us would mind seeing the back of) they're running us off the clock, like we don't have bills to pay and (for most of us) kids to take care of.

Sigh. I hate to keep complaining about this job instead of just finding another one. It's just, the one other really really good, high end fine dining place around here is run by a chef who has a bad reputation for being a real asshole, and given their turnover? I don't doubt.

And given my payraise began last January, I am half afraid that when I file my income taxes this year I'm going to end up owing again, instead of being able to add that little bit of money to the "Get The Fuck Out of Here Fund". :(