pennie_dreadful: A cat wearing glasses (Default)
Kat ([personal profile] pennie_dreadful) wrote2018-12-20 09:47 am

(no subject)

Success! So, as usual, I got close to the end of my Synthroid prescriptions and started to feel those good good anxiety feelings because I HATE seeing my endocrinologist, because she seems to think her job is to make me lose weight and not, you know, help keep my hormones level (Not to mention I didn't start putting weight on until the stupid thyroidectomy, there is a clear cause and effect, here). At my last appointment she told me she was going to refer me for gastric bypass and I was like...yeah, no...I've taken out enough internal organs and was told it would improve my health (and I mean, yeah i needed the thyroidectomy it was just, trading one set of problems for another :/) but I very much want to keep my small intestines in their current location and continueing to absorb the NUTIENTS IN MY FOOD??? I refuse to believe this is a bad thing.

Sooooo on my hunt for a new endo I found one who seemed promising, I just put off making an apppiontment because that's just what I do, and I was lowkey freaking out bc what if they aren't accepting new patients? What if their next available apppintment isn't until February, and I still have to go back to my old endo to at least get my prescription renewed so I, you know, don't feel miserable and then die?

Welp I finally made myself call this morning, and at first they said they wouldn't be taking new patients until next year, but then they asked me what I would be seeing the doctor for, and when I said hypothyroidism, she said they had an opening for 2 o'clock today??? And I was like, but i haven't done labs? :( and they said that I didn't need labs for my first appointment, it was just to talk about my health problems and establish a relationship with the doctor, and I tell you, I almost started crying on the phone, I'm almost crying now, because, will this doctor actually LISTEN TO ME? Will he be willing to try putting me on T4/T3 combo treatment, instead of just T4? Even when my TSH was normal, I still never felt like I did before all this started. I understand it's controversial, and I understand why it's controversial as well as a lay person can, but I want to try it. I'm willing to try anything to get out of this brainfog and fatigue.

It even occurs to me, that the last time I wrote anything was right after my surgery, and that was for the LHM fic fest three years ago. It just. Is so fucking frustrating having a doctor say, your lab results say you're fine, and still feel like shit. To have days where I can't focus on anything, even reading fic or scrolling Tumblr. It sucks.

Well. Maybe I'll try to get a nap in before my appointment, lol I still have work tonight. File this under both perks and drawbacks of having a night job.

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